We all know the waiting is really really hard. The mind plays tricks. Every twinge or non twinge causes anxiety. We find ourselves feeling feelings of hope and excitement and then our brain "catches" it and reminds us to guard ourselves. Waiting is so hard.
I came across this worship song called "Lord I Need You" by Chris Tomlin and it's so embedded in my heart and spirit that I wake up with the lyrics playing in my head. I truly need Him every hour through this. (I'll paste lyrics at bottom of post)
In other thoughts, I came across 2 really good "perspectives" of explaining infertility.
1. (my own) it's like a sliver. No one can see it, you always know its there, and it hurts really bad at times and other times its just a nusince. My husband had a deep sliver after working on the bark dust . "It hurts so bad, I want it out, I can feel it as I walk and it's annoying," says my husband. "Darren," I reply, "You my love have just defined infertility." I went on to explain that if he says "don't think about it or relax" that it's physically impossible, just like a deep sliver.
2. I was blog reading and came across this post on http://hiddeninfertility.blogspot.com blog. It is beautiful in regards to explaining the weight of infertility and might make people that tell us to see the glass "half full" shut it. ;)
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
Lots of stuff on my mind, trying to remember that I truly need Him every hour and to breathe through the wait.
[Verse 1:]
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart
[Chorus:]
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
[Verse 2:]
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
[Bridge:]
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart
[Chorus:]
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
[Verse 2:]
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
[Bridge:]
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
Hoping your stressful waiting period goes by fast and smoothly. It really is whe worst! I love the water analogy. I wonder what happens to your arm when you get to the 2 year mark? Needless to say...we've all been holding our water glasses for far too long!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found that post inspiring. I had to share it when I read it because it is so reflective of most of us on here! put down the water!
ReplyDelete