Noah and Beckom

January 7, 2015

Noah Jude Benson
Once I lost Jude, I knew that if we ever had a little boy I wanted to name him Noah.  Yes, every other baby boy in the world is named Noah and I never loved the name before, but by using the name Noah, I'm able to talk about my faith in God and redemption and I'm able to talk about how he is my rainbow baby-which allows me to mention Jude and Brinly in a non-depressing way.  Naturally, we loved the name Jude and since Jude is his big brother, the middle name was easy.

Beckom Samuel Benson
We originally were going to name him Jace Beckette Benson.  (Beckette trying to come up with a girl version of Becky).  I eventually asked Becky which middle name she preferred to honor her Beck or Beckette.  She came up with the middle name of Beckom because it's a combo of her name BECKY and her husband TOM.  She said she could never have done this journey without Tom.  Darren and I loved the combo name so much we decided to make it his first name!! As it's important for me (if people ask how we came up with the names, to talk about Christ and our other children, it's also really cool for me and important for me to talk about the surrogacy journey.  People LOVE hearing how we came up with Beckom's name).  Samuel is Darren's middle name, was Jude's middle name, and his dad and grandpa's middle name.  In the Bible Hannah struggled with infertility and eventually had her ever-so-longed-for son: Samuel.  It fits.

Life with Noah and Beckom has been both fun and challenging while all the while incredibly healing.  I get to hold Jude and Brinly's little brothers every day.  I can't stop telling them I love them.  I can't stop thanking God they are alive.  I'm an official stay at home mom for 3 months (I go back to work February 13). 

There have been some very sweet gifts given to us through their birth.  Obviously the gift of surrogacy.  Along with that a highly skilled photographer felt like God was asking her to give us a free newborn photo session.  4  women, my childhood friend Kayla, my sister, Becky, and Pamela, one of my sister's best friends, have all dontated ounces and ounces of breastmilk to me.  Kayla, who I hadn't talk to in years also randomly said she felt like God was asking her to do this (Thanks guys and thank you Jesus!!).  Breastmilk can sell for $4 an oz and most of these women have babies of their own.  HUGE gift. 

Here are some of our picture from our session with Lindsay at http://livejoyphotography.com/.  If you live in Salem/Portland area, check this baby whisperer out!!

Gender Reveal 4 Real!

October 19, 2013

I've been dying for this day.  It's a milestone. My 30th bday combined with gender reveal?   Surreal.

I know my readers are all at different places.  If you are at a "lower" point were the word baby makes you twitch and a bump makes you tear up, don't read today.  Instead, read these:

Box with Blue Balloons: Survival of the Gender Reveal

and

Cupcakes with Blue Filling

Often when someone who has been battling IF gets pregnant its easy to forget that they have been through hell themselves with the fight.  The first post is more recent and is when my SIL announced gender of her second pregnancy-about a month after our 2nd IVF failed.  I would sum it up as me trying my hardest to live out: happy for them, sad for us.

The 2nd one Cupcakes with Blue Filling is the post I wrote when my younger sister did her gender reveal party.  We had been trying for a year in vain and had about 3 IUIs under our belt.  They got pregnant the first month they tried.  I ADORE my sister and my precious nephew, but the post is honest of the amazing clash of emotions that come with the overall theme I've worked on mastering: happy for them, sad for us.


Finally, finally, finally after three long hard years, tonight WE are HAPPY for US.  This doesn't mean I have forgotten the pain, the worry, the increasing frustration infertility has to offer.



Here is the future dad making the "reveal" boxes:

Here is the video that tells it all:

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly, as I was looking through my posts I found one I wrote on my 29th birthday.  When I blew out my candles there were 2 candles left-the colors of my twins!