Happy Wife=Happy Life

April 17, 2012

Well, the last cycle was a bust and it's amazing to think of all the emotions I've been through in the last week.  I've cried to friends (can't hold back tears) about how I'm trying to keep my faith high and eyes above, but the pain of another failed cycle and the fears of "what if."

I have become a bit more aggressively medically as well.  I have insisted on a pelvic ultra sound just to make sure my ovaries are not covered in cysts.  I emailed my doctor in regards to how far Kaiser Permanente will take me.  I'm about to start 7.5 mg of Femera (the highest dosage) and if this doesn't work, my only option is to try clomid 150 mg one more time with an HGC shot.  If that doesn't work...

I'm in a tough spot because I don't want to "rush" God but in numbers, I have only ovulated twice in a year.  I was able to convince my husband to let me go to IVF when he is done with school at the end of the year, but then again, if nothing works before hand, why not do it now?

It's such a frustrating boat.  The program we would do is called ATTAIN and you pay 20k but get 6 trys.  It's hard because the last 3 years of our marriage we have been putting every penny to get out of student loan debt...to add 20k to that seems heartbreaking; to not be pregnant seems worse.  How long do you try before IVF?   On one side, I would pay 20k tomorrow to get out of this emotional/stressful ride.

Darren my husband is sweet and he trusts me with financial decisions.  He said he wants me to be happy and if I want to go this route, he supports its.  It's relaxing to know their is a little hope in the future that I can move forward with this, but on the other hand, I really really really am praying God will answer before then.

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