Sometimes I get a wave of "conviction" for the amount of emotion, fear, crying, time I put into ttc. I forget how blessed I am to have Darren (a miracle in itself) when many of my friends are still waiting to find their husbands. I forget the years I feared never getting married and the amount of tears and prayers I put into that (the emotions are all to similar to the hope deferred of wanting to have a child).
One of my dearest friends from church has been super supportive throughout my ups and downs. She recently started trying to conceive and last night at Bible study shared how her OBGYN called her saying there were "complications" with her blood work and that her and her husband needed to come in. Today she found out she is having ovarian failure and has a 5-10% of ever conceiving. She is 26.
Her response?
She said, "Well, looks like God is wanting to do a miracle through me."
Wow. I haven't been told I only have a 5-10% yet I have never once said "God is wanting to do a miracle through me." I have cried and been angry and begged God, but never peacefully expected it. How honoring her response must be to the Creator.
Darren wanted me to read his devotion on dreams and Joseph and one thing that stood out to me was:
God is too good to be unkind.
God is too wise to be confused.
When I cannot trace His hand.
I can always trust His heart.
I found your blog on pinterest and have been following it because I really relate to your story. This post brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes it is easy to forget how much God is here for us in this journey. Your friends acceptance is truly inspiring and touching.
ReplyDeleteKristin! Thanks for your comment. It IS hard to forget God is actually with us. Glad you can relate! Let me know if I can pray for you for anything :) God bless.
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