Bye Bye IUI/Hello In vi tro

September 23, 2012

Honestly, despite the low progesterone result, I was holding my breath.  Hoping.  I think hope is the only thing that can keep ya going in these situations.  Hope that this isn't forever.  Hope that God has a plan.  Hope that end of this crazy, insane, hard journey, my child will be there waiting.

It would be lying if I said I was surprised when the dreaded period showed up today, but I was also prepared.  Instead of the usual mourning I instantly thought "So God has it planned for us to do IVF."

So, Bye Bye IUI

Hello Invitro.

I was scared, but now I'm more excited.  I can suck up anything for a month.  I will start birth control in 3 days to help my ovaries take a break.  Though I'm sad I didn't conceive, I'm excited for the break.  Obviously I can't get pregnant on birth control, so for the first time in years I can have sex without thinking about infertility.   I can take a breath.  Relax.  And gear up for the injections, egg retrieval, and HOPEFULLY egg transfer. 

I can't believe that my chances of being pregnant are about to be FIFTY percent or higher.  I can't believe that by early November, I will know the results.  I can do anything for a month.  Fear has been replaced with anticipation.  Bring it on. 

Lord, give us the strength.  Remind me that you are with me and though I don't know why, this is the path you are leading Darren and I down.  I thank you for this beautiful science.  I thank you that we have jobs to help us pay for this.  I thank you that you are building our testimonies so someday we will truly be able to relate to other couples struggling.  By your grace and mercy, I ask that IVF works the first time.   I trust you, I praise you, I am letting go and trusting that what is best will work.  Prepare our hearts for this month and fill us with hope and joy.  Instead of crying, give us laughter.  When I give myself injections, remind me to praise you instead of complain.  When I am afraid, remind me to turn it to prayers.  Thank you for the plans you have for us.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Bucket List:

My Bucket List: