I Hope. I Trust.

August 14, 2012

Just an update on everything.  The day I got the LH surge, Kaiser was able to squeeze me in.  Sperm count was 9.5 mil (they like 10 as a minimum but she said good enough). 
It was funny because she complemented me on my "cervical mucus" and "wide open cervix" (not the type of complements you get every day) and then told me she hopes she never sees me again.  I get random nurses each time.  I liked her.  My BBT thermometer is going haywire so I'm not 100% I had the temp spike the next morning, but I think I did.  I did remind myself that "que sera' sera'" and the obsessing won't change a darn thing.

IUI #7 (Darren calls it "FINAL IUI"). I have to lay with hips tilted for 20 minutes after.  You can see the pregnant lady paper mobile above that I have to stare at each time (the one I wanted to rip up last month! ;)

This weekend we went to 2 family reunions at the beach (my side and then his side).  I have a wonderful and VERY fertile cousin who is pregnant with her fourth (she randomly found out she was pregnant during a pap smear).  And of course, I got asked the question..."so....when are you guys going to have ki-" "Oh, we have been trying for 2 years" I reply really fast but with a smile (although its really only been a year and half it feels like 86).  I could since a little awkwardness but I don't want to beat around the bush.

My great uncle got up to give a welcoming speech to the 40+ realatives and then started talking about how my sister is the first one to start the 5th generation.  He talked about it a little longer and I'm not going to lie, I had to do some hard blinks.  I'm older, so I feel bad and don't like people feeling bad for me.  In fact, I HATE it.  At my little sister's wedding a cousin said "Do you feel bad your little sister is getting married before you?"  Seriously?  I was fine but now I feel bad you feel bad! Sigh. 

Darren and I decided to attend OHSU IVF Open House.  They are ranked in the top 10 nation although their success rates are under 50% (the doctor told me its because they accept everyone and don't deny unlikely candidates).  They have a great program where we pay 8K for 1 Fresh, 1 Frozen transfer or double for 2 and 2.  I was delighted to hear that the whole process with them from CD 1 to pregnancy test is only 5 weeks.   We are thinking October may be the month to go for it...

As we were driving home yesterday, my stomach hurt really bad and Darren said "maybe you are pregnant" (even though its way too early to have signs).  I said, "I WISH."  He said, "No, say 'I hope' and 'I trust.'  So, as my 2 WW continues on, although doubtful this IUI #7 was any different from the rest, I will hope and I will trust.

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