Bad, Bad News

November 16, 2012

I know that it is "idiotic" to celebrate a pregnancy  early.  I felt I could announce it on my blog since my followers are almost all strangers that deserve to know the honest truth of the journey.

My Beta didn't double.

It went from 100, to 104.

The nurse wasn't optimistic but said they are not pulling the plug yet and i have to continue with the huge shot till Monday for 1 more bloodtest.

I'm pretty speechless.  My husband felt like it was time to press in and pray for a miracle.

That we will do, but I need EVERYONE to pray.  Just like in the Old Testament, Moses was at a point where he couldn't hold the rod up anymore because his arms were tired. 

My arms are tired.

We are breaking the news to our families tonight to get them on the prayer wagon.  Not how I dreamed of telling them, but I don't care.  There is a glimmer of hope and I'm chasing it.

In the meantime, I'm preparing for next steps.

A trillion cuss words to you, infertility.


  1. Holly- I cannot even begin to understand how you are feeling right now. This is terrible news. I will pray as hard as I can tonight and hope that God will hear all of us. I remember when we got the negative test after our IVF cycle and I was so terribly angry at him. So angry that he allowed people to have children that didn't deserve them and so angry he was putting us through this pain. That night was the first time I had ever just opened my bible to read it (not for study purpose) but just to hear his words. I landed on Exodus 23:25 "So you shall serve the Lord your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take sickness away from the midst of you. No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfull the number of your days." It was so amazing that I landed right on that, but it showed me that he was with me right then. I just know he has something planned and when we get it, it will be so awesome.

  2. I too, will pray..pray..pray. Please keep us updated. xoxox

  3. I saw this over the weekend and my heart has been in my stomach ever since! I'm so sorry that it hasn't increased by much...I always believe there is still hope, until proven otherwise!!! I have been praying so hard for you. Please keep us posted. xoxo


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